virginia is not for vaginas

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-57392796-503544/virginia-gov-bob-mcdonnell-signs-virginia-ultrasound-bill/

"This bill does not legally alter a woman's ability to make a choice regarding her pregnancy," the statement said. "It does, however, put Virginia in line with 23 other states that have some type of requirement that a woman be offered a view of an ultrasound before an abortion can be performed."

The bill is slated to go into effect on July 1.

BACKGROUND: Since the mid-1990s, several states have moved to make ultrasound part of abortion service provision. Some laws and policies require that a woman seeking an abortion receive information on accessing ultrasound services, while others require that a woman undergo an ultrasound before an abortion. Since routine ultrasound is not considered medically necessary as a component of first-trimester abortion, the requirements appear to be a veiled attempt to personify the fetus and dissuade a woman from obtaining an abortion. Moreover, an ultrasound can add significantly to the cost of the procedure.

this 'war on women' has been going on as long as charles manson has been hitting up the california parole board apparently with the same results.

at least manson has been active participant in his 'war on parole' and i got to watch!

and might i add, thank you thank you steven brill for creating courttv!

this shit is better than a double-feature at a drive-in, popcorn and all.

so, um, if there's a war, where are all the bodies?

surely if the uteri of the testosterone-challenged have been attacked since the 1990's, there is a death toll somewhere .
surely there would have been a journalist somewhere with a deep-throat connection in a war bunker getting "according to anonymous sources" information about the 'war on women'.
right?
with the exception of some SSS (super stupid shit) escaping from the mouths of some SSP (you figure this one out) the 'war on women' is as innocuous now as it was when it began under the clinton administration all those years ago.
 

below is a table outlining ultrasound requirements state by state. (disclaimer- this table from 2011; however, only differs from guttmacher, dated april 2012 (link below), in re to virginia and texas.)

http://www.statehealthfacts.org/comparemaptable.jsp?ind=946&cat=10&sub=110&yr=200&typ=5&rgnhl=4

HIGHLIGHTS:

 11 states require verbal counseling or written materials to include information on accessing ultrasound services.

 20 states regulate the provision of ultrasound by abortion providers.

 7 states mandate that an abortion provider perform an ultrasound on each woman seeking an abortion, and require the provider to offer the woman the opportunity to view the image.

 9 states require that a woman be provided with the opportunity to view an ultrasound image if her provider performs the procedure as part of the preparation for an abortion.

 5 states require that a woman be provided with the opportunity to view an ultrasound image.

*1(one) state- texas, must display and describe the ultrasound image; north carolina and oklahoma have similar mandates; however, both are pending judicial review. but! even this provision exists:

** according to guttmacher.org link:The law allows the woman to decline to view the image and in Texas the woman may decline to listen to the description under certain circumstances.

http://www.guttmacher.org/statecenter/spibs/spib_RFU.pdf

granted, there are 7 states that mandate the ultrasound is part of the abortive procedure; however, all 7 are only required to offer the opportunity to have a look.

at this point, our spread-eagle p.o.w invokes the geneva convention and says, "no thanks."

game over.

it should also be noted an ultrasound is not required for any reproductive counseling or consultation.

a woman is still free to gather as much information she chooses long before she decides to terminate a pregnancy. a woman is free to schedule an appointment with her obgyn or her general practitioner and just chat about her options - this is called a consultation and doctors everywhere still do them.

women are still free to walk into planned parenthood and speak with a reproduction counselor and ask as many questions as one can think of and walk away as informed as one chooses to be; there are pro-choice and pro-life organizations that offer services, and for godsakes, there's the freaking internet!

a woman does not schedule an abortion as if she were scheduling an oil change for her car.

as a woman i hope with all of my heart and all that makes me female, every woman faced with this situation puts a lot of thought into her options and ultimately into her decision.

as a woman, i find it offensive that a legislature assumes women deal with unwanted pregnancies with all the regard we give our order at a burger king drive-up window.

things to do today:

drop off books @ library

get an abortion

pick up dry cleaning

as a woman, i find it offensive that this 20 year old "war on women" didn't really piss off very many women until 2012 and not even until after a few meat headed politicians tried to legislate a church and lay down some new/old law on the united states of vaginas.
as an american, i find the use of the word war in this regard, offensive. politicians, the media, and angry women want to invoke the imagery of war, an image we are all too fucking familiar with, to equate a not-so-sudden assault on their reproductive choices. give me a break.
the only assault on  your crotch comes in the form of an offering and an opportunity- sounds more like manners than a declaration of war.
anyway all attempts by the states to further assault us with their damned ultrasound rules are under judicial review, and i'm pretty sure the new texas law will follow suit and end up before the court as well.

as previously noted, the ultrasound option has been around for quite some time.
lady soldiers, where have you been for the last 20 years?

perhaps you should get your head out of your cooter and pay attention to what befalls the entire human race and not just what exists between your legs.

cmk

ps- we could start by demanding safe birth control, viagra for women, and i would trade a thumb up my ass and a little coughing for the william wallace bed of torture that is my obgyn office.

on behalf of vaginas everywhere, thank you jesus and rick santorum

jesus and birth control have risen!

thank you father, son, and holy ghost!
"Citing weekend reflection with his family, prompted in part by a hospital stay for his youngest daughter, Santorum suspended his campaign, effective today."
http://nbcpolitics.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/04/10/11122920-santorum-suspends-presidential-campaign?lite

i completely support the santorum family decision and respect their right to be together at this particular time, political prowess aside. understanding rick santorum the man, i am not at all surprised santorum will take advantage of.... what?

synchronicity (aka perfect lockstep)-
santorum's daughter, bella, fell ill at a time that resulted in deep, critical thought, a lot of kitchentable family conversation (easter and spring break falling in perfect lockstep with the lull in primaries, ohhhmmm), reaching a conclusion that benefited the santorum family.
is this not exactly what santorum would be expected to do?
the only reason i cheer the conclusion of santorum's campaign, is i will never have to hear another pundit ponder how in sam's hell did santorum keep his god loving, uterus controlling, mysoginist head above politician-infested water this freakin' long?

dum dum, dummmm dum, dum dum dum dum, aw shit.

over and over to the point of nausea i hear pundits opine collective surprise over santorum's continued, if not rising delegate success, up to and until his last series of primary losses to romney.
i really think i am one of two people on planet earth, the other being matt drudge,  unsurprised by santorum's weird, unlikely appeal.

republicans, conservatives, gop'ers, independents, and even libertarians, were stirred by the candidate that walked the walk.
we wanted a candidate comfortable in his skin, confident in character, and willing to speak hard, ugly truths.
we, the 99%, know hard truths. our neighbors live life's hard truths. we are not afraid to acknowledge this and we want a candidate equally willing to acknowledge the truth and isn't too politiciany to talk about it.
if candidates didn't hand us a bunch of typical pandering bullshit, we welcomed them with open arms, warts and all.
we the people are desperate to elect a politician who visibly walks the walk he/she talks. even if the walking and talking is assclown ridiculous, we forgive you your stupidity because we know you really, really believe your walk to be true!
similar to men who claim their dicks will fall off, get gangrene, or just out right implode if willy doesn't ejaculate by some imaginary "best if used by" date.
we know you're full of shit but we love you regardless.

delivers pizza and pays the rent

it was cain's appeal, until we discovered he was delivering his particular brand of appeal to women all over the place like he was delivering hand-tossed pizza.
it was perry's appeal until we discovered that wasn't-  texas personality- that's a texan on quaaludes.
when all of the clowns left the circus, we were left with an alien, an asshole, a vagina controlling religious zealot, and bringing up the rear as usual- the one who calls a hollow tree home and isn't even a real republican elf anyway!

not a registered voter

santorum's "last minute appeal" was a realization that whether we liked or even agreed with santorum's politics, it finally became obvious to more than 2 people, at least he wasn't full of shit.
santorum supports some outrageous ideals, but he actually lives his life according to precepts he has the balls to espouse.
santorum really does want to control my vagina, he isn't afraid to say so,  but!
he chooses not to. i have heard him state he would not legislate my access to birth control.

i don't love abortions, but i won't picket your clinic.
i get it.
he wants women to stay home and raise their babies. but he won't pass a law making women stay home and raise babies.
and i stayed home and raised babies, got a problem with that, people?
and santorum's wife walks the 'stay-at-home-mom' walk.

i believe with all my heart, americans are desperate beyond desperate for a president who also happens to be a real human being. we don't want him to be like us; if we do, we are more dna challenged than neandretals. we want a president to be direct, avoid hypocrisy, stop using the "we" word when clearly "we" are us and them.
get real.
be real.
we forgive your warts if the rest of you is real and not all warty.
now all i have to look forward to is the aforementioned pundits begging the question, "who is mitt and why is he so weird?"

again, it comes back to god

um, cuz he's a freaking mormon? good grief, research people. research.

kind wishes for the santorum family.
cmk

p.s. my vagina never felt threatened, by the way )

the week in vaginas and smerconish

guess the day i posted vagina, go on, guess

at the conclusion of one week's worth of posts, google analytics have proven what everyone on earth already knows:
men love vagina.
now, i could be getting just as many female hits; however, get the fuck real- the word vagina is to a post title as danica patrick is to the nascar.
hot hot hot.
it's a win win and from now on, i may have to refer to the cooter in every possible way in every post title, henceforth. 

it's saturday and i am now going to introduce you to:

cmk saturday wrap up:

as word of e.l. james', '50 shades of grey', spread like a whore's ankles, women all over america flocked to bookstores requesting a copy of what was being touted as, "the steamiest, sexiest work of raunchy fiction since, well, ever." 

and i use "requested" lightly. 

i remember faces, too

they flocked like the birds in hitchcocks', 'birds' flocked and left some booksellers feeling if they just got their eyeballs pecked out by a buncha really horny angry birds.

some ladies almost cried.
and some ladies, mostly the sweet, lil' old ones, needed to be warned, "oh. i don't think this is what you think it is. it's not really romance. like, this would make jackie collins look like a children's author."
or, "there are "things" involved; you know, like, um, (whispers) handcuffs and stuff." winks.
random house finally reprinted the book; the female literary libido could be satiated among whatever else those lady-perverts do, and i would no longer have to explain or discuss bondage, discipline, or s&m to one more blue-haired old woman.

smerc goes to boston this week to attend that chris matthews jfk book/movie thing. an excerpt from a poem i wrote on https://www.facebook.com/smerconish :

for only a man like jfk
has para mores to this very day-
who in their golden years of life
claim, "i fucked him too! not just his wife!"

chris needs to let this go. 

besides, caroline kennedy is putting out 83 kennedy book per year already. please. 

stop.

arlen "the turtle" specter poked his curmudgeon little head out of his shell and promoted his new book, 'life among the cannibals: a political career, a tea party, uprising, and the end of government as we know it'.

are you effing kidding me? that is 20 words long!

and of all people to have the worlds longest title in the history of longest rambling titles, it would be specter. it took 30 seconds of airtime for him to spit the damned thing out.
1. i cannot wait to have to enter this title into a title search at work.

2. and, i just might consider whether i will even do a title search if mr. specter continues to announce, "you can buy my book at that evil internet place that rhymes with schmamazon..." first.

bookstores employ real people from your district. you should be ashamed, mr. specter.

but please say missourah, more often. i do love that; so huck finn of ya.

lastly, the vagina has been replaced as the gop platform now focuses on, that's right, you guessed it:

one of my personal favorites

yes, that. 
msnbc said the word etch-a-sketch 1,438 times friday, replacing  former record holder, cooter rights.

the ohio art co., maker of the etch-a-sketch, says the 1960's era toy is flying off the shelf!
i thought buddy elf made the etch-a-sketch?
that being said, i wonder if viagra sales went up, up, up during all the federal vagina wrangling.

that is it for the week.
this blogger will see you monday.
tomorrow i rest )
cmk

love