on behalf of vaginas everywhere, thank you jesus and rick santorum

jesus and birth control have risen!

thank you father, son, and holy ghost!
"Citing weekend reflection with his family, prompted in part by a hospital stay for his youngest daughter, Santorum suspended his campaign, effective today."
http://nbcpolitics.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/04/10/11122920-santorum-suspends-presidential-campaign?lite

i completely support the santorum family decision and respect their right to be together at this particular time, political prowess aside. understanding rick santorum the man, i am not at all surprised santorum will take advantage of.... what?

synchronicity (aka perfect lockstep)-
santorum's daughter, bella, fell ill at a time that resulted in deep, critical thought, a lot of kitchentable family conversation (easter and spring break falling in perfect lockstep with the lull in primaries, ohhhmmm), reaching a conclusion that benefited the santorum family.
is this not exactly what santorum would be expected to do?
the only reason i cheer the conclusion of santorum's campaign, is i will never have to hear another pundit ponder how in sam's hell did santorum keep his god loving, uterus controlling, mysoginist head above politician-infested water this freakin' long?

dum dum, dummmm dum, dum dum dum dum, aw shit.

over and over to the point of nausea i hear pundits opine collective surprise over santorum's continued, if not rising delegate success, up to and until his last series of primary losses to romney.
i really think i am one of two people on planet earth, the other being matt drudge,  unsurprised by santorum's weird, unlikely appeal.

republicans, conservatives, gop'ers, independents, and even libertarians, were stirred by the candidate that walked the walk.
we wanted a candidate comfortable in his skin, confident in character, and willing to speak hard, ugly truths.
we, the 99%, know hard truths. our neighbors live life's hard truths. we are not afraid to acknowledge this and we want a candidate equally willing to acknowledge the truth and isn't too politiciany to talk about it.
if candidates didn't hand us a bunch of typical pandering bullshit, we welcomed them with open arms, warts and all.
we the people are desperate to elect a politician who visibly walks the walk he/she talks. even if the walking and talking is assclown ridiculous, we forgive you your stupidity because we know you really, really believe your walk to be true!
similar to men who claim their dicks will fall off, get gangrene, or just out right implode if willy doesn't ejaculate by some imaginary "best if used by" date.
we know you're full of shit but we love you regardless.

delivers pizza and pays the rent

it was cain's appeal, until we discovered he was delivering his particular brand of appeal to women all over the place like he was delivering hand-tossed pizza.
it was perry's appeal until we discovered that wasn't-  texas personality- that's a texan on quaaludes.
when all of the clowns left the circus, we were left with an alien, an asshole, a vagina controlling religious zealot, and bringing up the rear as usual- the one who calls a hollow tree home and isn't even a real republican elf anyway!

not a registered voter

santorum's "last minute appeal" was a realization that whether we liked or even agreed with santorum's politics, it finally became obvious to more than 2 people, at least he wasn't full of shit.
santorum supports some outrageous ideals, but he actually lives his life according to precepts he has the balls to espouse.
santorum really does want to control my vagina, he isn't afraid to say so,  but!
he chooses not to. i have heard him state he would not legislate my access to birth control.

i don't love abortions, but i won't picket your clinic.
i get it.
he wants women to stay home and raise their babies. but he won't pass a law making women stay home and raise babies.
and i stayed home and raised babies, got a problem with that, people?
and santorum's wife walks the 'stay-at-home-mom' walk.

i believe with all my heart, americans are desperate beyond desperate for a president who also happens to be a real human being. we don't want him to be like us; if we do, we are more dna challenged than neandretals. we want a president to be direct, avoid hypocrisy, stop using the "we" word when clearly "we" are us and them.
get real.
be real.
we forgive your warts if the rest of you is real and not all warty.
now all i have to look forward to is the aforementioned pundits begging the question, "who is mitt and why is he so weird?"

again, it comes back to god

um, cuz he's a freaking mormon? good grief, research people. research.

kind wishes for the santorum family.
cmk

p.s. my vagina never felt threatened, by the way )

hardballs, hardheads, and hardtruths

having a hard day

smerconish spent the week auditioning for chris matthews' 'hardball' slot all last week. i am only bothered by this because smerc is a bit less smerckish and a little more rockefeller center.
i refuse to go so far to say smerc is anything at all like matthews. smerc doesn't spit when he goes off on a 3-minute question rant and he doesn't rant for 3 minutes, so it's a win win for his guests.
i hope smerc eventually gets the gig.

smerc allows his guest answer questions; matthews asks his guests questions, but somewhere along the line matthews decides he is going to answer the question too, leaving guests like mother jones', david korn, chewing the insides of his cheeks.
ugh, smerc is nothing like chris matthews, but nothing quite like smerc either.

my pet turtle, arlen specter

i was elated to think he would be back in philly on monday, and tuned
in to hear  a 'best of smerconish' repeater edition of arlen specter pimping that gawd-awful book of his.
nineteen fucking words in the title!
only specter.

and gawd damned chris matthew's stupid assed vacation too!

when i arrived home from my appointment with the worlds greatest chiropractor on the face of the earth, i woke up my laptop and there to my surprise, was the real smerc on wpht!
yay! sybil out, smerconish in.
around 6 pm-ish, the topic centered around the trayvon martin shooting in sanford, florida. once again, smerc's mainliner zip code (also known as- the new elites' blanket of protection from real human beings) leaves him pondering, "are people really taking sides already and deciding guilt or innocence before zimmerman is even charged?"
michael michael michael.
duh.
charles murray is correct.
there are zip codes in cities full of fine people... - i'm making no judgements.
none that i'm admitting to right now anyway.
i'll continue.....fine people with lovely manners and worthy-of-praise socialization skills, and free-range access to crane stationary and mont blanc fountain pens.
and these people, fine as y'all are, participate in the real planet earth as naturally and as often as the gop's favorite gaffer- mitt romney.
as white trailer trash (because i took murray's test, and i know both jimmys) i am left to enlighten you smerc, to real human thoughts on the trayvon martin shooting.
buckle yourself up, in that fine jag-u-are of yours; i'm taking you for a ride through the www philly burbs:

from cnn facebook thread:
Tina MH This Is So HeartBreaking A Young Boy 17yrs old,Just buying Tea &Candy! SMH...We ALL KnoW If The KiLLeR WaS Black & The ChilD Was White! NO WaY WouLD He Be STILL Walking ArounD W/ThaT GUN!-Racism IS SO OUT HERE It'S INJUSTICE!! SO SHAMEFULL!!! CARMA Is SOMETHING!!
9 minutes ago · Like · 1 (props to carma with a 'c'!)
MikeR wearing a hoodie when its not cold or raining is a sure sign you arent up to anything good.
about an hour ago · Like
msnbc:
SandraT Just like when I got profiled for being a skinny white girl ... I must be in this neighborhood for drugs. If I were slovenly ... it wouldnt have happened. If I were black or Mexican it wouldnt have happened. I was targeted because I am skinny and white. But that isn't racism?? OK ... I forgot only black people are victims. All other nationalities are not ever discriminated against. It is bullshit and it pisses me off
3 hours ago · Like · 1
DanP
If a white kid was killed the shooter no matter the race would be in jail and the trial date would be set.
AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH
DanP You can tell the racists by their outrage at people demanding justice in this case.
Just Sayin
8 minutes ago · Like
TavorisS Why hasn't anything been said about the SHOOTINGS N TULSA I guess don't wanna end up TALKING about BLACK WALL STREET & showing what WHITE PPL R CAPABLE 3 hours ago ·

GlenC.M. John C, Republicans want to see one big plantation!

2 hours ago · · 4 (notice this shit get's 4 thumbs up!)

from ms facebook wall:

Billy Mulligan By the way. Truth is not hate speech. Obama is an Affirmative Action President.. Trayvon was trespassing on private property, when trespass you take the risk of being shot. Sandra Fluck is a slut. She allowed herself to be used by the left like a slut.. Truth is not hate speech.. Now me I use hate speech because I absolutely abhor the Left and Democrats as a whole

11 hours ago · · 2 (billy contributes some freakin' doozies, lemmetellya! billy makes facebook ed look like milquetoast!)

 

i know, it's depressing, isn't it?

hey, mr.bubble?
yeah mr. smerconish, you are indeed a resident in the charles murray bubble of the unincluded. it seems the real world, which IS facebook, has bee completely divided into 2 camps:
zimmerman's camp guilty

trayvon's camp of justice

you and i are among a select few who have put on earmuffs to a media hellbent on stirring a racepot that rivals charles manson's intention to start a race war between blacks and whites in 1969.

during the woodstock era, manson used drugs and his notorious cult appeal as a means to his desired end.
in 2012, we have the mainstream media.

stick to your legal gut instincts, and keep the earmuffs on.
stay comfortably in the mainline bubble, and i will keep you informed of what the real people do.
cmk

p.s. the april 8th announcement of smerconish's move into rush limbaughs' noon-three timeslot on 1210 wpht leads me to believe, smerc is gonna get the hardball job!